Vishnu the Liar

There are a lot of..er...notable characters in our neighborhood, many of whom can be found in the park, especially on the playground. One of our recent favorites is 9 year old Vishnu. "Vishnu" is a creative story teller with very big aspirations and very few friends. Amy and I were playing on the slide yesterday when Vishnu came over to the swings to hang out. He was really little with short spiky black hair and huge eyes. He wore shorts and a really big jacket. His little stick legs ended in these huge white sneakers that made him look like he had marshmallows on the end of his legs. He kept on smiling at us with great big teeth and a dimple until finally Amy noticed him.

Amy: oooooo! (pointing to kid on swings)
me: Hey there (to kid on swings)
Vishnu: Wanna play?

So we headed over and Amy sat on my lap as we swang in the swing next to Vishnu's.

Vishnu: I'm 9.
me: Wow. I guess you're in, what, third grade then?
Vishnu: Yeah. I'm really smart. I'm prolly the smartest kid in third grade. When I was in kindergarten I was too smart for the other kids so they asked my mom if I could go in a higher grade. I skipped them, but then I was like too different and so my mom is letting me do third grade again. The school wanted to put me in 5th grade but I was all, welllll, only if I can be in 5th grade five times 'cause otherwise I'd be too short. I'm like the smartest, but I'm only like in the middle for football and like at the end for height. Your baby looks smart.
Amy: weeeeeeeeeeeeeee
me: you're short for your age?
Vishnu: (raises eyebrow, gives me a look, then winks like a boss) I'm only short for a third grader.
me: do you play sports?
Vishnu: Yeah. I play basketball. (points to the adjoining court FULL of highschool boys and assorted thugs) I was playin' with them, but then they made me leave because I was so good and they were all losing.
me: that's not very sportsmanlike of them.
Vishnu: I know. When I win, I say to the other kids "you'll do better next time" and when I lose, I'm like "good game!" (gives me a high five). I also play football, baseball, and I can RUN.
me:  do you run in P.E.?
Vishnu: Yes. We run a mile every day.
me: do they time you?
Vishnu: Yes. I can run a mile in a minute and 45 seconds. That's like from here to those baseball fields (points to a spot about 100 yards away). I'm the fastest. My brother is slow.
Amy: daDAT. errrrrrewwwwww. (indicates she is done with swinging and might be about to puke)

We moved from the swings to the teeter totter. Vishnu the Honest followed us and sat on the other end from  Amy.

Vishnu: I don't play on the teeter totter. It's for babies. I just sit in the middle of it and try to balance.
me: well, thanks for playing on it for us.
Vishnu: no problem. My sister used to be a baby.
me: how old is she now?
Vishnu: She's five. She was smart too like your baby. She could like, talk when she was one week old and she could run when she was a month old. She started talking when she was born.
me: wow. She's very advanced.
Vishnu: She only has one lung.
me: what?
Vishnu: yeah, they took it out. (points to his side and indicates scissor motion) They did like ten surgeries on her when she was a baby.
me: How sad. Was she ok?
Vishnu: She's fine (shrugs). They wanted to do more but my mom said no, so they gave her five shots instead. (indicates foot-long needle).
me: Well, that's lucky. Five shots must hurt.
Vishnu: (big eyes, earnest nodding).

We got off the teeter totter and started playing on the slide. Amy would slowwwwly climb up the steps and sit at the top of the slide and then let go and slide down into my arms. I'd put her on the ground and she'd run over to the steps and start over. Meanwhile, our little friend was doing monkey-style acrobatics on the bar, and sometimes would go down the slide while Amy was climbing.

Vishnu: My name is Vishnu.
me: That's very unusual.
Vishnu: Uh huh. I'm named after an Indian god.
me: Vishnu is also the name of a rock that's at the very bottom of the Grand Canyon. It's black and sparkly and very beautiful.
Vishnu: I know. I'm Indian. (he says in a clearly Mexican accent)
me: Oh really? That's cool. Are both your parents Indian?
Vishnu: No, just my Dad is. and my mom.
me: oh.
Vishnu: I can speak Spanish though.
me: I know you can.
Vishnu: I've been to China.
me: Wow. What did you do there?
Vishnu: we ate, you know, Chinese food. (look from me) and also we made these things. These like, little cups (holds hands together like a teacup). It was like clay. and we made them. I was little. I was like one. Maybe one and a half.
me: was it a long flight?
Vishnu: (slow dramatic nodding) You wouldn't believe it. I, like, slept two times the whole way.

He jumped off the play structure in a death-defying leap and began to root through the wood chips underneath it.

me: That's gross.
Vishnu: I'm in charge of the science fair at my school.
me: They must really trust you.
Vishnu: I got to choose the other kids for my team.
me: Who'd you pick?
Vishnu: I choose the second smartest kid. That's Emma.
me: 'cause you're the first smartest.
Vishnu: uh huh. and I chose her and then Adrian. He's the fourth smartest.
me: Adrian is a boy? What about the third smartest? Who is the third smartest?
Vishnu: I don't know.
me: (trying not to laugh about poor Adrian who is smart, but not smart enough to fill the #3 spot) what's your project?
Vishnu: we're going to throw balls off the playground like this (wild arm motions). baseballs and tennis balls. we'll see what hits the ground first.
me: what do you think will happen?
Vishnu: I think they'll hit at the same time, but I think the other kids will think that the baseball is a little heavy so it will hit harder.
me: I think you're right.
Vishnu: It's relativity.

I start to pack up Amy in the stroller because it's getting dark.

me: Well, thanks for playing, Vishnu, we have to go home for dinner now.
Vishnu: 'kay. Bye. I'm here some days when I'm with my brother. He's that one over there doing this (strikes hilarious high school boy pose).
me: He's tall.
Vishnu: Yes. He's 6 feet 15 inches tall. I'm going to be tall.
me: I'm sure you are. Are you ok waiting for your brother...what's his name?
Vishnu: Rodrigo. I'm ok. I'm gonna go help him with basketball.
me: ok bye.
Vishnu: BYE!!!!!!!

Oh my gosh. I hope we get to play with him again.